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Sunday, May 4, 2008 After contemplating alot, i decided to join back....... but you know what they say......"THERE IS NO FREE LUNCH IN THIS WORLD, U GOTTA PAY THE PRICE" yea.....and i got the "price"...... u ask me why....... i have nth to say...... clinging on to the strong belief in you, all those where nth to me..... but when u chose to giv up on me...... i start wondering.....why did i nt retaliate yst nite? i cud ve easily run bt i didnt......for what did i do that? all bcus i had u in mind..... u said y didnt i share my problems wid u...... well, do u knw it hurts more to see ur loved one suffer all bcus of u? if u cn settle for urself, y nort rely on urself? sll i wanted is a smile frm u......but u gave me sth wich i nvr wanted...... All the tears shedded, scars created, pain beared are they nothing?? I am not a supernatural human!!! I m fearful of them too..... Do u knw hw it feels like when a hammer is approaching u closer and closer..... Do u knw hw it feels like When boiling hot water jst came on u like never ending river flow..... Do u knw hw it feels like When u are like a lion being tamed Strokes jst came on u one aft another..... Do u knw hw it feels like when u r being humiliated in front of the whole of ur relatives...... Do u knw hw it feels like when u r being chased aft by ur own f***** wid a chopper.... Sadness, loneliness , helplessness was all i felt..... But who cud be there for me?? who can help me??? All the pain who can ever understand??? Why am i even living on??? why did i cling on to e faith in u??? jst bcus 3 words...... I LOVE YOU........ i cud ve easily ran away..... but i didnt..... Nw i even sign a contract with my own parents..... There goes my life...... i will nvr create my own future anymore....... U say hw i wish we nvr met before..... U knw that sentence....jst tat alone..... n left me so broken??? All that i have done is NOTHING??? I trusted n believed in u.....bt u chose to give up on me..... Now i start to wonder...... What is the reason that held me back? What is the reason that let me stay still to all this? What is the reason y i didnt give in? Why is it i didnt tell u earlier? Why did i take it all by myself? Why am i so silly? Why do i feel happy even aft all tis? Initially my ans is "Because i love you so, that i am willing to do anything" But after what u said, im left there baffling........ U say "i will be there for u when u need me"...bt now u say " how i wish we never met" u know.....i m so lonely now......soooo.....soooo.....soooo...... 0ni1 thing to say " A LONER IS ALWAYS A LONER"... Love? what is it???? do i even ve the right to love??? Trust??? what is it???? who can i trust now??? ALL OF THEM ARE LIES!!!!! I trusted u with my everything but u chose to crush it jst lidat...... my so called "happiness" is jst short term..... Since the moment u chose to giv up on me, i told myself sth...... maybe its better to be single??? LOVE? what is that? a game??? i will never ever hand myself to any1 anymore..... I BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND NO1 ELSE........ What am i??? A toy?? A plushie?? A piece of clothing?? An unwanted pet?? Isnt taht good? after playin and gettin tired of me, u cn jst *woooo* whrs e rubbish dump...... and throw me dere.......leave me there to rot....... hah......or maybe recycle me??? hah...... LOVE??? nah...... thats not for me......i will never experience it again.... even my own paretns dun give it to me..... who else will give it to me?? I dun deserve to be loved and to love..... cos im just a JUNK :DD *Junk polluting the earth* For those who loved me, im so sorry....im just a piece of junk...im nt worthy of ur love....I only bring hurt to everyone........*Junk Junk Junk* :DDD :DDD :DDD [x] i lovee myself ((://* 4:12 AM Myiie Profile ♥
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