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Thursday, May 22, 2008 I dont even know why i make these O.O
Mango Moose Cake Y
Chocolate Moose Cake Y [x] i lovee myself ((://* 2:23 AM Saturday, May 10, 2008 Do u know why i did this? Do u even know? You thought i left you But is that really so........ "I always thought i felt sth i could No longer feel only to realise All these ain't true" Do u know how much it hurts to hear u say so....... Its not because i dont love youu but because........ I dont have the right to say i love you...... I have a phobia of falling iin love Cause it really Really hurts....... I have never overcome it Still dwelling in the swirls of it It is not that i dont trust you But i have no faith in myself I really really love youu But i am afraid i will hurt youu Youu really brought me joy But all i bring youu are hurts and cries...... It really hurts to see youu suffer But it hurts more When i am the cause.... I wan to be fair to youu I dun want u to Live in the shadows of my history I wann youu to enjoy life with me Not to suffer with me..... Its torturous to see your lovedd one hurt But who knows....... Deep in me im cryin out loud..... But what can i do...... U think its easy to tell u that...... It tears me more to say that..... But what else can i do I dont want to make youu Suffer because of me..... I wann to be fair to youu I want to love youu without burdens..... I want to hand my everything Into your hands..... But i am being held back But so many chains...... They are so heavy and breath-taking..... They are all unexplainable No one will ever understand.... All the pains and trials I just g0tta take it myself And drag to move on..... I dun wann to burden anyone Especially youu My Lovedd One I really wann to loosen myself to love youu with my everything But i need time and youu to do it.... But i guess this wish of mine will be gone..... cause u alr chose to leave me....... All my hopes are dashed Ever since the moment Youu say...... Goodbye~~~ [x] i lovee myself ((://* 6:57 AM Thursday, May 8, 2008 [x] i lovee myself ((://* 1:43 AM [x] i lovee myself ((://* 1:29 AM Monday, May 5, 2008 BLAME ME BA.....ALL MY FAULT.....CURSE ME TO DEATH ALSO CAN.........FAN ZHEN I AM BEING HATED........IM SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE......IAM SORRY I HURT AND BRING TROUBLES OK?????? ALL MY FAULT.....ALL BLAME ME THEN...... Take note: *Sowie DUA and -MR- & -MS- guilds...... i brought troubles to e 2 guilds...... im sowie for that....... i hereby officially apologise to u all....I AM SORRY....... Want me dead also can...... since i started it, then let me end it ba.........* [x] i lovee myself ((://* 6:45 AM Sunday, May 4, 2008 So all these started because of me eh??? Hahahah.......so it is true then.......i am the cause of people's hurt...... is all because of me that people quarreled..... haix........maybe i should just dig a hole and bury myself inside......Then people will not quarrel because of me again....... Its not nice to see quarrels especially if im e cause of it.....soooo please stop all this ok???? ITS MY FAULT!!!!~~~~ want to blame then blame on me!!!! [x] i lovee myself ((://* 9:36 PM After contemplating alot, i decided to join back....... but you know what they say......"THERE IS NO FREE LUNCH IN THIS WORLD, U GOTTA PAY THE PRICE" yea.....and i got the "price"...... u ask me why....... i have nth to say...... clinging on to the strong belief in you, all those where nth to me..... but when u chose to giv up on me...... i start wondering.....why did i nt retaliate yst nite? i cud ve easily run bt i didnt......for what did i do that? all bcus i had u in mind..... u said y didnt i share my problems wid u...... well, do u knw it hurts more to see ur loved one suffer all bcus of u? if u cn settle for urself, y nort rely on urself? sll i wanted is a smile frm u......but u gave me sth wich i nvr wanted...... All the tears shedded, scars created, pain beared are they nothing?? I am not a supernatural human!!! I m fearful of them too..... Do u knw hw it feels like when a hammer is approaching u closer and closer..... Do u knw hw it feels like When boiling hot water jst came on u like never ending river flow..... Do u knw hw it feels like When u are like a lion being tamed Strokes jst came on u one aft another..... Do u knw hw it feels like when u r being humiliated in front of the whole of ur relatives...... Do u knw hw it feels like when u r being chased aft by ur own f***** wid a chopper.... Sadness, loneliness , helplessness was all i felt..... But who cud be there for me?? who can help me??? All the pain who can ever understand??? Why am i even living on??? why did i cling on to e faith in u??? jst bcus 3 words...... I LOVE YOU........ i cud ve easily ran away..... but i didnt..... Nw i even sign a contract with my own parents..... There goes my life...... i will nvr create my own future anymore....... U say hw i wish we nvr met before..... U knw that sentence....jst tat alone..... n left me so broken??? All that i have done is NOTHING??? I trusted n believed in u.....bt u chose to give up on me..... Now i start to wonder...... What is the reason that held me back? What is the reason that let me stay still to all this? What is the reason y i didnt give in? Why is it i didnt tell u earlier? Why did i take it all by myself? Why am i so silly? Why do i feel happy even aft all tis? Initially my ans is "Because i love you so, that i am willing to do anything" But after what u said, im left there baffling........ U say "i will be there for u when u need me"...bt now u say " how i wish we never met" u know.....i m so lonely now......soooo.....soooo.....soooo...... 0ni1 thing to say " A LONER IS ALWAYS A LONER"... Love? what is it???? do i even ve the right to love??? Trust??? what is it???? who can i trust now??? ALL OF THEM ARE LIES!!!!! I trusted u with my everything but u chose to crush it jst lidat...... my so called "happiness" is jst short term..... Since the moment u chose to giv up on me, i told myself sth...... maybe its better to be single??? LOVE? what is that? a game??? i will never ever hand myself to any1 anymore..... I BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND NO1 ELSE........ What am i??? A toy?? A plushie?? A piece of clothing?? An unwanted pet?? Isnt taht good? after playin and gettin tired of me, u cn jst *woooo* whrs e rubbish dump...... and throw me dere.......leave me there to rot....... hah......or maybe recycle me??? hah...... LOVE??? nah...... thats not for me......i will never experience it again.... even my own paretns dun give it to me..... who else will give it to me?? I dun deserve to be loved and to love..... cos im just a JUNK :DD *Junk polluting the earth* For those who loved me, im so sorry....im just a piece of junk...im nt worthy of ur love....I only bring hurt to everyone........*Junk Junk Junk* :DDD :DDD :DDD [x] i lovee myself ((://* 4:12 AM Myiie Profile ♥
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